Dear Abby: Is there a polite way to ask why his wife vanished?

I used to see her all the time, and then she disappeared.

The next time you see the husband say, “I used to see your wife walking so often. I haven’t seen her in about a year. How is she?”I am widowed after 45 years of marriage. A male work friend of 20 of those years wants to have a relationship with me but he’s still married.

Since his wife refuses him sex and because he has been attracted to me from the day we met at work 20 years ago, what do you think about our continued phone sex?To paraphrase William Shakespeare, “A rose is a rose by any other name.” So is adultery. In the beginning, I didn’t feel I had the right to say anything about it, and he assured me she would eventually move. Well, now we can’t even discuss the issue without getting upset. He says it’s financial. I say he could find another roommate. I suspect he’s just making excuses.

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