I believe her elderly mother is more important to her than I am.
I met a man, “Gabe,” 30 years ago. We had a very good time together. We dated some and even traveled occasionally. I liked him a lot but, when we met, I was divorced and looking for marriage. He was not. I moved for my job, and met and married someone else. Gabe did call to keep in touch for several years, but the calls stopped. I never forgot him.
My husband passed away four years ago, and then COVID hit. Feeling the loneliness of lockdown, I wrote letters to people I hadn’t heard from in years. Gabe’s was one such letter. He called me after he received it, and we reconnected. We have enjoyed each other’s company off and on since then. I would love to have a deeper relationship with him. Unfortunately, he regards me as nothing more than a friend. He is intelligent, quick-witted, well-traveled and still very handsome. I enjoy his company very much. I’ve wanted to tell him how I feel, but I don’t want to jeopardize what we have together. So here I am, now in my 60s, feeling lost and not knowing how to handle my desire to be with him.
I can work from home full time, but prefer to drive 75 miles a day to get out of the house. Her mother needs more care now than can be provided at home. However, my wife wants to bring someone in a few days a week, since I no longer work from home. She’s just delaying the inevitable. I believe her mother is more important to her than I am and, if that’s the case, I can’t change her mind. Aside from this, we have a great marriage. I don’t want to lose what I have, but I am prepared to walk away. Advice?I do have some. If assisted living is in your mother-in-law’s future, it would be kinder to have her take up residency soon, while she’s capable of adjusting to it rather than postponing it until there is an emergency.
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