7 undesirable qualities that can sabotage a relationship—and when they don't seem to matter as much
In the first study, Csajbók and Berkics asked 155 heterosexual adults to name characteristics that would be deal-breakers for either a long-term or short-termrelationship. From these responses, they culled a list of 96 frequently mentioned characteristics.
For men, the two biggest deal breakers were unattractive and filthy, regardless of whether they were looking for a long-term or short-term relationship. Likewise, the two of the biggest deal breakers for women, regardless of relationship type, were filthy and abusive. However, if they were seeking a casual fling, then unattractive was the biggest deal-breaker of all.
The respondents saw a list that included the seven deal makers determined from previous research and the seven deal breakers elicited in the current set of studies. They ranked the items on the list in the order they would like to learn about them.A general finding in relationship science is that the negatives outweigh the positives. For example, if you make a negative remark about your partner, it will take three or more positive comments to undo the bad feelings.
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