A concerned sibling reaches out to Dear Abby seeking advice on how to handle their brother's unhealthy fixation on their friend's wife. The brother, Paul, has been consumed by this delusion for a year, despite the lack of reciprocation and the clear consequences of his actions. The sibling expresses worry about Paul's future and feels compelled to set boundaries.
My younger brother, Paul, is 40 and stuck in a rut. He became friends with Mitch, a friend of mine from college, and also with Mitch's wife, Iris. After a year of close friendship, Paul made a pass at Mitch's wife during a barbecue. He was asked to leave and they cut off all contact with him. It has been a year since Mitch has spoken to Paul, and Mitch has no interest in rekindling the relationship.
My brother is convinced that Mitch's wife will leave her husband for him, despite the fact that there has been no communication and she never expressed any interest. Paul has a longtime therapist who is aware of the issue. I'm concerned that my brother is wasting his life pining after someone who is not an option for him. He has never been married, doesn't have children, and lives in an isolated mountain area. He is also jobless and mostly living off an inheritance. I know all of this because it's all Paul ever talks about. Today, I told him I'm done entertaining this delusion and won't talk to him until he makes some changes. I know I'm venting, but I need to know if I made the right move. Did I?
FAMILY RELATIONS OBSESSION RELATIONSHIP ADVICE BOUNDARIES COMMUNICATION
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