The type: The coward who breaks up via text, phone, or email. What he’s thinking: “Breakup, what breakup? With who? Oh, her? Right, forgotten about that one. LOL!”
There’s really no “good” way to break up. My best breakup was also my first. It happened my senior year of college: I was graduating; she wasn’t. I was moving to California; she wasn’t. For months, we knew it would end, and when it did, we enjoyed a candle-lit dinner and swapped breakup gifts, complete with wrapping paper. As breakups go, it was flawless. But the niceties can only count for so much — in the end, it did nothing to dull the hurt.
What he’s thinking: “To date or not to date? Is the problem my fear of commitment, or that I don’t like her enough? How is it even possible to untwine those two variables? Maybe we should give it another month. No, that’s not fair. I shouldn’t string her along. Let’s end it now. But … the holidays are right around the corner. Only a monster dumps someone before Christmas. I’ll wait.
3. The Dodge. The coward who breaks up via text, phone, or email. In certain rare contexts, as others have argued, this has merit. And it’s permissible in the early phase of courtship.
What he’s thinking: He’s wrestled with his doubts for months, but instead of trusting you with the truth of his ambivalence, he put on his Boyfriend Game Face. Then the doubts won. Once that happens, this logic kicks in: “Why prolong the inevitable? Better to be firm. Decisive.”
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