YUMA COUNTY, AZ—Keeping pressure on the wound in her side as she trudged beneath the scorching noonday sun, a bloodied Janet Yellen was reportedly spotted dragging U.S. Treasury funds through Arizona’s Yuma Desert on Friday after a tense money supply handoff with the International Monetary Fund went south. “Should…
YUMA COUNTY, AZ—Keeping pressure on the wound in her side as she trudged beneath the scorching noonday sun, a bloodied Janet Yellen was reportedly spotted dragging U.S. Treasury funds through Arizona’s Yuma Desert on Friday after a tense money supply handoff with the International Monetary Fund went south.
“Let’s see… Beretta’s only got two bullets left. Damn canteen’s run dry too. Bleeding’s stanched, at least. Every international finance soldado from here to Timbuktu is looking for this bag right now, and I don’t stand to put up much of a fight if they catch me. Nothing for it but to stash the goods, find a doc to pull the lead out of my belly, and lay low in Washington for a spell until I can come back to reclaim what’s rightfully mine.
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