Plus: People seem to like me, but I have no close friends.
I offer some thoughts on behalf of someone who is still in touch with many of my son’s former classmates.
Three, sometimes you’ve been the safe space in their life. Decades ago, I was a young person whose mother was deceased and whose father was abusive. I would have given anything just to have a safe adult to talk to. As an adult, I have been that safe space for some.My son still considers all these people friends, but he doesn’t stay in close contact with all of them, due to the demands in his personal life.
Relationships are two-way streets and if the letter writer isn’t finding value in the friendship with the son’s classmate, it’s worth taking a beat to figure out what could make it meaningful all-around.It has never come easy for me, and it’s compounded by the fact that I’m an introvert who works from home part time with three small children, living far away from family. My husband is a great friend and support, but I’d love to have more female friends.
While I feel friendly with a large circle of people, I’m rarely on anyone else’s invite lists and don’t get any texts on my birthdays. I know I’m lucky to now know so many of my neighbors, but when I stop trying to interact with them, they forget about me. I’m frankly exhausted with the one-sided effort and ready to give up.You may be too good at socializing, to the point where the people around you assume your calendar is always full and/or don’t think you’re someone who needs the kind of friendly check-ins we all do.
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