In today's Asking Eric column, R. Eric Thomas responds to someone who is perplexed why their friends always order their dinner meals before they've even arrived at the restaurant.
In today's Asking Eric column, R. Eric Thomas responds to someone who is perplexed why their friends always order their dinner meals before they've even arrived at the restaurant.
We have a couple we get together with periodically for dinner. It’s low key about setting time and place; usually I let them pick. The problem is every time we show up at the agreed upon time they usually have already ordered appetizers they have mostly eaten and have usually ordered their main course.
We always feel odd having to take time to look over the menu and order. Once would be weird but it’s almost every time. I don’t know what to say. It’s awkward. Why do they invite us if they’re going to eat without us?What a fascinating habit this couple has. I’d even go so far as to call it rude. It’s one thing to arrive early and order a soda or cocktail while you wait, maybe an appetizer to share. But they’ve started the whole meal. I’d be perplexed, too.
It’s best to meet the awkwardness head on. The next time you make plans, tell them you’ve noticed they tend to arrive much earlier and start to eat. Ask if there’s a reason for this and tell them you’d really like to spend the whole meal together. It seems unlikely they’re unaware of this habit; maybe there’s a good reason. But by talking it through – “dinner is at 6; what time will you be there?” – you give them the opportunity to explain and adjust.
@Zmentz R-Eric-Thomas Asking-Eric @Exclude
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