Joe Nguyen is a digital strategist for The Denver Post. Previously he was the online prep sports editor. Prior to that, he covered Adams County and Aurora in the YourHub section. He has previously covered Colorado’s Asian-American communities as editor for Asian Avenue magazine and AsiaXpress.com.
My son recently announced that he and his wife are divorcing. Shortly after that, I found out my son had an affair with the daughter of my ex-husband’s wife. Technically, the other woman is his step-sister but they only all met as adults, so it’s not cringe-inducing incestuous.
With this new information, I’m having a hard time being supportive and empathetic. I just want to tell my son to give my daughter-in-law whatever she wants in the divorce; that she deserves it. Don’t we all hold each other accountable, or do I just not understand boundaries?You’re not being narcissistic, but you may be overestimating your ability to make a family member see reason when they’re bound and determined to do exactly what they want, no matter the consequences.
You have the right, and parental responsibility, to let your son know that you don’t condone his actions. While he will have to work to earn back the portion of your respect he’s lost, remember that the amends he needs to make to his soon-to-be ex-wife are between them. That’s where the boundaries come in.
I now have serious heart issues that really slow me down, so I only do a little camping and a daily walk, whereas my husband still does it all. If you can afford to live separately, you should also be able to afford to keep the rural abode, if you want, and still live together in the community. It’s going to be a change for both of you. But I see only upside here.
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