Dear Amy: She seems mad at me, but I think I’m the one that has the right to be upset.
Landon is a robust and healthy older man. Unbeknownst to him, we are not actually cousins, in fact, we’re not related at all.Years ago, I asked Landon to submit a DNA sample with the results coming to me, the family historian.I should note that Landon always had a strained relationship with his “father,” and I remember him as a difficult man.Those still living are a short drive from Landon’s house.
I’ve gone to great lengths to protect his privacy while using public databases to research his biological family. But Landon’s children or grandchildren could test their DNA any time, revealing this reality.I love my cousin very much and don’t want to hurt him or damage our friendship.Dear Burden of Truth: You imply that your cousin has avoided access to his DNA information because he assumes it merely proves that he is biologically related to your family.
You might say to him, “As you know, I’ve studied the family DNA and genealogy. I have access to your information and your unique story, and if you want to learn about it, I can share it with you.”If DNA relatives discover the truth about his parentage and independently contact him, he would understand that you’ve offered this information to him.She has a condo in Florida, and I try to visit her once a year.
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