Advice from Amy Dickinson.
: My adult stepchildren routinely exclude me. My husband denies this and says I need to try harder.
I thought this was great because the elephant in the room had been exposed. No more gaslighting – they really do exclude me on purpose.This was the beginning of a three-day fight. It’s challenging to bring a new spouse into the fold. It takes patience but also a firm resolve. It is possible to be sensitive to others’ feelings, without being manipulated by them.Compassion toward your husband is also called for. Walking on eggshells in fear of his own children is exhausting and terrible for his self-esteem.We are close in all ways imaginable – except for sex. We have not had sex in many years.
Meanwhile, our relationship remains strong. I am not really upset. In fact, this is a relief to me, and I no longer feel guilty about sexual tension or attention.Do you think that this should continue, or should I ask her to stop?This can be OK because – evidently it is OK, at least for now. This is your marriage and your life, and you and your wife have the right to conduct yourselves honestly and forthrightly the way you want to, as long as your children are not negatively impacted.
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