Ask Amy: Elderly relatives lurk and report intel

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Ask Amy: Elderly relatives lurk and report intel
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Dear Amy: A little over a year ago, working with my mother’s doctor, I decided it was in her best interests (she has dementia) to move into assisted living.

Dear Amy: A little over a year ago, working with my mother’s doctor, I decided it was in her best interests to move into assisted living.We have other elderly relatives in the neighborhood who kept us posted if anything required attention.

All throughout the estate sale and listing the house for sale we kept the relatives informed so they wouldn’t feel the need to maintain constant surveillance on the property. And then you should ask them, “Can you do me a favor and not tell me about the house? Instead, I’d like to hear about how you’re doing.”

Am I obligated to attend this celebration? If I don’t attend, should I send a gift? Dear Puzzled: I have chastised people for accusing marrying couples of inviting people to their various celebrations as a “gift grab,” but I have to admit that, hoo-boy, this sure seems like one.

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