“I would have appreciated a fraction of the empathy you extended to my sister-in-law.”
: Periodically, I publish updates to previous questions and answers published in this space. The following was published in 2018. The update follows the original Q&A.: I grew up with two siblings — a brother and a sister.
About a year ago my SIL married an old flame from college. She moved to his town, some distance away. We lost all contact. It was not just us — she and her children essentially “ghosted” their paternal grandparents, which was a source of great pain for my father, who is now dead. My wife is furious and is considering not giving any more graduation/wedding gifts to the nieces/nephew from this part of the “family.”Their father died suddenly. They were relocated to a faraway town for a marriage that turned out to be very short term. Then they moved again.
Your wife’s idea to punish these children by not celebrating their milestones is unkind. I hope you’ll both choose to behave differently in order to demonstrate to your nieces and nephew how to be in a family.I wrote to you as “Ghosted Uncle,” regarding how my late brother’s wife and children had cut off contact with my family.
At times I have been told by other family members that my former sister-in-law and her children have had a lot of personal issues. In recent years I have asked that they not share any of these statements with me.
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