Advice: His mother threatened and belittled him as a child, and he overhears her using the same tactics now as she babysits his nephews.
She also raised me like this, and my sister a little bit, too, and I resent her for it to this day. I’ve talked to her about how she raised me and how it hurt me, and I thought I made progress with her by expressing how I felt about being spanked, name-called and neglected. As a boy, I got it a lot worse than my sister did, especially physically, and I also told her how I felt about that.
If your work allows it, then stepping in to break the tension and add positive energy could be an emotional lifesaver. Hug those boys when you can. And your mom.I disagree that your sister’s off-limits — and her own shaky methods are exactly why you approach her. Treat it as if it goes without saying that Mom’s threats and spanking are bad things she wants to avoid with her sons.
For example: “I lived this with Mom. You know how I felt about being spanked, name-called and neglected. I resent her to this day for it. And I have talked to her directly — but I still hear her treating your boys this way. Please hire a responsible sitter if you can.”
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