Woman had an elaborate ruse that she was much farther away from her best friend.
This past weekend, she told me she is back with her ex, which I suspected, and she has been living 10 minutes away from me for years. YEARS! She has been lying to me all this time. My Christmas cards came back, “Forwarding Order Expired,” and she said indignantly, “I will have to go to the post office about that!” When we go for a night out, we text each other “HOME” so we know the other has arrived safely. So she would wait 45 minutes to text me! I keep thinking of all these things.
Please ask yourself whether you have been the safest and most forgiving place for Mary to bring her frailties over the years. Think back to some of the “bumps” you mention to see whether any of them can be traced to your impatience with her foibles. Even reflect on things you said not about Mary, but to her, that might prove you have high expectations and contempt for those who fail to meet them.
I float this idea not to accuse. For all I know, Mary earns 99.9 percent credit for this mess. But letting go often follows forgiveness, and forgiveness often follows recognition of our own frailty, even our 0.1 percent. Try saying to Mary, “Sorry I was not someone you felt you could tell this news.” See whether that balloon flies.
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