Mark Travers, Ph.D., is an American psychologist with degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides video and telephone psychotherapy, counseling, and coaching to individuals in over 40 countries worldwide.
As you stand on the brink of one of life’s most significant commitments—marriage— it’s not uncommon to experience sudden doubt, fear and hesitation. In this moment of second-guessing, your initial enthusiasm may be replaced with unexpected apprehension. However, this can be a natural response to the significant life change that marriage represents.
Sometimes, cold feet can be a sign of underlying issues in the relationship that have not been fully addressed or resolved. Before marriage, individuals may also find themselves comparing their current relationship to past relationships or idealized notions of what a partnership should be. This can create doubts about whether their partner truly meets their needs in the long term.
Remember who you are as a couple. The spectacle of marriage and other people’s often unsolicited opinions can cloud your judgment, so take time to reflect on your relationship’s strengths and why you chose to marry your partner in the first place. To address these feelings, take time to reflect on your personal growth, your ability to communicate effectively, manage emotions and handle conflicts constructively. Engage in activities that promote self-awareness and emotional intelligence, such as journaling or mindfulness practices.
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