Feeling alone this Thanksgiving? The first few solo holidays as a single mom are tough — until you learn to embrace the unexpected freedom.
You are alone for Thanksgiving. Your kids are with your ex-partner for the holiday dinner. All bets are off. That means it’s OK to make a turkey and stuffing sandwich and eat it on the couch in your pajamas by yourself. It’s OK to order a pizza with toppings your kids would hate and eat it right out of the box. It’s OK to sleep in, to, or to say yes to every invitation.
The first year my kids left to go to their dad’s for Thanksgiving, I really worked myself up into a full sulk. I imagined them all sitting around the table, my ex-family with my children, everyone content and happy and not missing my excellent stuffing or pumpkin cheesecake at all. My children acting not like themselves but instead like movie children. Combed hair, clean shirts, eating their dinner without complaint or bribes or anything.
Slowly — over the course of several Thanksgivings — I started to let in this new bit of freedom that felt foreign to me. I didn’t have to do dishes. I didn’t have to run to the grocery store with four cranky kids for last-minute dinner rolls. I could go to a matinee and get a large popcorn of my own if I wanted.. I could go home and continue to do nothing if this was also something I wanted.
I used those holiday weekends to recharge. To eat turkey and stuffing sandwiches, extra mayo, extra gravy, on the couch while I watched weepy melodramas. I cried sometimes. I wallowed. You might cry without your kids on this big weekend, too. You might wallow. I hope you do, actually.
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