This article discusses two etiquette dilemmas: navigating backstage greetings after a theatrical performance and the lack of groomsmen responsibilities at weddings. The writer recounts their experience offering praise to a friend who starred in a play and then questions the lack of involvement from groomsmen during wedding festivities.
My wife and I saw a theatrical production that was written by, and starred, a friend of a friend. This person used to live in our city. Our mutual friend suggested we convey their greetings after the show.
The production itself was truly wonderful, so it felt great to be able to tell those involved firsthand how much we enjoyed it and what the experience meant to us. To anyone in a similar situation, wondering what to do, I say go for it!Your wife had a case of backstage fright, which is understandable. What if she hadn’t liked the show?
You were fortunate in being able to offer honest praise. But how should you handle cases where the show is so awful that you just cannot choke out kind words?One time, with a particularly egotistical playwright who would have prowled for more, she got away with, “You must be so proud.” Later, someone who had overheard this said that Miss Manners was due a Tony Award for delivering that line.I have been to several weddings over the last few years, and I’ve noticed a trend.
I find this odd and unsettling. I’ve found myself stepping in to hold the groom’s beverage while he is in candid pictures with friends and family, or helping the bride navigate a narrow flower-lined pathway in her long dress. I’ve even helped elderly family members to their seats.Miss Manners hears so many sad tales from exploited bridesmaids that the position sounds less like an honor than a form of indentured servitude -- but one in which those serving are dunned for expenses.
BACKSTAGE ETIQUETTE GROOMSMEN SOCIAL GREETINGS WEDDING TRADITIONS ETIQUETTE QUESTIONS
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