Despite the social pressure, relationships are not a one-size-fits-all. We spoke to four R29 audience members who’ve chosen 'nontraditional' relationships.
“There’s a term in the polyamorous community called ‘polysaturation.’ It means you have reached the number of relationships you can manage,” Randi from Texas tells me during our interview. Randi is married, and has multiple romantic partners. “My husband believes that everyone is born polyamorous, and that some people are saturated with no partners, some are saturated with just one, and some with multiple.
The feeling of social pressure to meet certain relationship criteria and follow certain relationship trajectories is felt by so many, even when we know these criteria are imperfect — the, 73% of 500 Gen Z and Millennials across the US said that when it comes to a serious partnership, they are open to something more non-traditional, like not living with their partner, never getting married, or having multiple partners. My husband and I have been married for seven years.
Our relationship might not be considered traditional because we have no intention of getting married and no intention of living together. I was married once before, and it was an abusive relationship. I also witnessed a lot of domestic violence growing up. I’ve been through a lot of trauma therapy, and now, I have a good job, and I’m at a place in my life where I don’t want to rely on someone else. This relationship works for me because I get to have a lot more control than I ever had.
When it comes to relationships, I’m very lovey, I’m very affectionate, but I’ve also always been someone who needs my own space. In a weird way, my birth chart was sort of like therapy: it helped me understand why I am the way I am.
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