Women executives are often expected to be invincible, yet many carry the hidden weight of caregiving—reshaping leadership, identity and the cost of success.
Many women executives silently shoulder significant caregiving responsibilities alongside demanding leadership roles, leading to profound personal and professional strain. This dual burden often results in immense guilt and difficult trade-offs, impacting leaders' ability to fully engage in executive duties.
Organizations can effectively support executive caregivers by offering flexibility, strengthening and fostering psychological safety to normalize caregiving conversations and reduce stigma.Caregiving often collides with leadership responsibilities, leaving women executives to balance the hidden weight of supporting loved ones while running companies., leading companies while holding it all together without breaking stride. But beneath that polished exterior, many are quietly carrying another weight: caregiving. According to the“I felt incredibly guilty there for about six months,” Shenandoah Davis shared about being the caregiver for her sibling and husband while also serving asof Adventure Nannies. “I felt like I was letting every single person in my life down all of the time. I have amazing friends, and when I told them what was going on, they were incredibly supportive, checking in to see what I needed. It was just so overwhelming. At the same time, I had 1000s of unread emails. I sent out a mass email saying, ‘I can’t meet with any of you for the foreseeable future.’”Shenandoah Davis, CEO of Adventure Nannies, with her sibling Alenni Davis and husband Luke Beetham at home in Marion, NC.Having to make a choice, Davis chose to focus on her roommates, as she likes to call them, while trusting her team to carry the company until she had the mental capacity to step back into leadership with clarity. Prior to Beetham’s diagnosis of high traits of autism, along with a PTSD score in the 99th percentile, Davis took his actions to heart. “I was looking through this lens of, ‘He must not care that much,’ or ‘He’s just not very invested,’” she recalled. Only after his diagnosis was she able to reframe her expectations. “It was the extra push that I needed to stop taking things so personally and to be a lot more patient.” Davis was able to let go of resentment, which helped her in business. The empathy at home became a framework for building healthier communication across her fully remote company. However, for Beetham, processing that diagnosis brought mixed emotions. “I don’t think it’s that I realized I needed support. I experienced shame and frustration simultaneously.” The shift in identity has been humbling. His experience has forced him to advocate for himself. He’s concentrating on therapy, which in turn helps him to better communicate with people in general, especially Davis. For Alenni, the diagnosis was sudden and disorienting. Needing support from others brought unexpected emotions. “I felt a lot of hopelessness at the feeling of not being able to care for my own needs,” they express. “I was told I would need a double mastectomy and lymph node dissection. Being agender and nonbinary, there was relief that my physical body would finally match the ideal form I had in my head that I never thought I would attain, but there was also great pain associated with the lack of control over my own anatomy.” Shenandoah Davis and her business partner Brandy Schultz backstage in Bend, OR participating in a documentary with Danielle Lurie .Family presence became essential. They felt less alone, but with the deep reckoning with the idea that anyone’s biggest fear can be possible. Davis' decision to be present with her roommates left her with a difficult choice. She dropped a couple of board seats that she held and felt behind on everything; she didn’t have the energy to respond to anyone or anything. “My coping mechanism was just not to respond to any of ,” Davis stated.For Davis, the role of caregiver eclipsed her executive responsibilities. When her sibling moved in during treatment, the demands intensified. “The first couple of months that my sibling lived here were pretty rocky,” she admitted. “I already had a lot of work travel booked. I also felt guilty about the amount of time I was working, as I had missed a lot of work last year. And this year really felt like it needed to be a catch-up year for me at my company.” The turning point came when Davis leaned on her team. A planned 12-month leadership transition condensed to days. “I just had to call her and say, ‘I’m so sorry. I need you to fast-forward a year and take over this department that I’ve been in charge of,’” she explained. The colleague rose to the challenge, allowing Davis to step away when needed. The challenges this family describes are not unique. Women executives are more likely to assume caregiving responsibilities, and when combined with leadership, the result is often burnout masked by competence. The hidden toll shapes how companies are run, how leaders communicate and how sustainable their leadership becomes.Offer flexibility—Allow leaders to adjust workloads or step back temporarily without penalty. Flexibility provides executives with the space to handle urgent caregiving needs without compromising their long-term leadership credibility. Strengthen delegation structures—Create clear succession plans and transparent communication so teams can step into expanded roles with confidence. When Davis had to accelerate a transition, her team succeeded because expectations were clearly defined. Provide psychological safety—Normalize conversations about caregiving and reduce the stigma around asking for help. Leaders should not be forced to carry the emotional load in silence. “I'm so grateful to my employees for how generous and understanding they were,” Davis concludes. “That is something that I want to continue to pay forward. Knowing how hard it is to ask for help, and knowing how hard it is to kind of admit that you're overwhelmed, or that you have to cancel trips, or that you're not going to do something on a deadline, it’s about honoring and respecting the vulnerability and the trust that it takes for someone to open up with you.”
Caregiving Women Executives Cheryl Robinson Forbes Caregivers Chronic Health Issues Caregiver Burnout Women In Leadership Emotional Toll Of Caregiving Caregiving Responsibilities
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