Camilla Rogers, a successful business coach with corporate clients including Nationwide and Virgin Media, is a hands-on mother to her eight-year-old son Reuben. She practices time management, maintains beauty standards, and leads by example, setting a strong alpha example for her son.
By the time former banker Camilla Rogers reaches the school gates at 8.30am, she has answered all her emails, practised Spanish, indulged in a spot of watercolour painting and played a duet with her eight-year-old son Reuben – she’s on the saxophone, Reuben’s on the piano.
Her son will have made his bed without having been asked – ‘tidy bed, tidy head’ is their mantra – and Camilla will be perfectly coiffed with immaculate make-up: ‘mascara before breakfast’ is another. A glossy blonde, typically clad in skinny jeans and blazer with Gucci trainers, Camilla runs a successful business coaching consultancy, with corporate clients including Nationwide and Virgin Media. Clearly, she boasts an equally alpha approach to parenting.
These days, not only does she give Reuben weekly lessons in finance, they also create vision boards of their goals together. His include a red Ferrari and a holiday in the Maldives, hers a pastel blue Aston Martin and house with a pool.
‘I have a very clear idea about the man I want him to become,’ says Camilla, 44, who lives in Oxfordshire. ‘When I want to do something, nothing’s going to stop me. That’s how I want Reuben to be. ’ Does anything about this alpha mum sound familiar?
So convinced are her friends that she resembles the assertive character Amanda from hit BBC comedy Motherland – the super-successful spin-off, Amandaland, is now in its equally hilarious second series – that they have nicknamed her ‘Cam-andaland’.
‘I took it as a compliment,’ says Camilla. ‘The point they’re making is that they see me as an incredibly hands-on mum who has a hectic, crazy life. They’re quick to tell me they don’t know how I do it all. ’ Although it’s worth mentioning that Amanda, played by Lucy Punch, fails, more often than not, in her bid for stellar success.
In this latest series, we see her fake 10km runs in her bid to become a fitness influencer… with no followers. And, while Camilla boasts a wardrobe of designer clothing and accessories, Amanda has to make do with flaunting the high-end goods of her mother, played with lashings of eye-rolling disdain by Joanna Lumley.
‘I took it as a compliment,’ says Camilla Rogers of her 'Cam-andaland' nickname. ‘The point they’re making is that they see me as an incredibly hands-on mum who has a hectic, crazy life' Amanda, played by Lucy Punch, is known as an assertive character Amanda from hit BBC comedy Motherland and now in the spin-off Amandaland, with Dame Joanna Lumley joining as her mother As a result, Amanda is more of a wannabe, rather than a real alpha mum.
Indeed, she’d kill to have her act together as efficiently as women like Camilla. While separated from Reuben’s father, a consultant, Camilla hasn’t let parenting mostly by herself daunt her.
‘As my mum always says, if the going gets tough, Cam gets going,’ she asserts. ‘When life throws a curveball, that’s when I work best. Ten years ago, I travelled the world, and moved to San Diego on a whim. But I returned to no home, no job, no income, no real life per se.
‘I sat down and wrote three big, audacious goals to have a £1 million property portfolio, set up a coaching business and create a lifestyle that would allow me to pick up any child I might have from school. I gave myself five years and I made them all happen. ’ Like Amanda, Camilla has always wanted a successful, high-profile life and has never been ashamed to admit it. So, too, her insistence on maintaining beauty standards.
‘I once went straight from the beauty salon to a meeting and had to say, “Please excuse my face, I’ve just had a facial! ”, to which one of the other women replied, “Oh, you look like the most glamorous woman in the world! ” She said the same thing to me last week when I bumped into her at a wine-tasting event.
’ As for exercise, Camilla says: ‘I go through seasons with my fitness, previously going hardcore with Hyrox, which combines 8km of running with strength training.
‘Currently, I’m enjoying a season of less punishing exercise, focusing on high-intensity treadmill walks using the 12-3-30 workout trend – walking at a 12 per cent incline at a speed of 3mph for 30 minutes. ’ Speaking of walks, every New Year’s Day and at the turn of each season, she takes Reuben for what she calls a ‘gratitude walk’.
‘We talk deeply about what makes him happy and what we can improve,’ says Camilla, who sleep-trained her son as a newborn after attending a course. Like everything else, she wasn’t leaving sleep to chance. If there’s one area where Camilla does fall down though it’s time-keeping – school pick-up isn’t her forte, as she’s ‘often pushing the boundaries of my working day. But I know the teachers will look after him until I arrive’.
‘You have to know which balls to drop,’ she adds. ‘I don’t care about the ones that will bounce, such as if I’ve been in meetings all day and we have to eat pizza for dinner so that I can prioritise helping him with goalkeeping and cricket practice after school. ’ She’s not afraid to speak her mind to other parents either.
‘I’m conscious of Reuben’s downtime and how his day flows because it directly impacts his mood and behaviour, as do the children he plays with. I’ve often stepped in if I feel a dynamic isn’t right.
‘Boys will be boys, but I told one mum whose child was rough with the others, “Your son has to stop, it’s physical violence. ” It hasn’t happened since. I’m upskilling Reuben in how to stand up for himself without getting into trouble.
‘We have a proper debrief every evening to discuss how he’s felt during the day, what was hard, what surprised him. It’s about building emotional awareness. ’ Perhaps Amanda’s most famous scene is her solo dance routine at her birthday party. Camilla, too, admits to being told off for exuberant dancing on tables in bars.
‘I find Amanda so relatable,’ she says. ‘I think people connect with Amanda because underneath all the chaos and perfectionism is someone trying desperately to hold everything together while quietly running on empty. ‘So many high-achieving women see parts of themselves in her, which is what makes her feel so funny and human. I’m often flirting with burnout and pulling myself back from the brink, but it’s all for my boy and our future.
’ Businesswoman Jessica Crane, 38, is another self-confessed Amanda-alike. Glamorous and unflappable, she oozes sass and warmth in equal measure, and demonstrates that being an alpha female goes far beyond bossing it at home and in the boardroom.
Businesswoman Jessica Craneis is multi-millionaire women’s business mentor, wealth strategist and property investor Part of what makes Amandaland, with fellow Motherland star Philippa Dunne, so popular is surely Amanda’s fallibility – the moments when she tries and fails to meet the standards she has set for herself A multi-millionaire women’s business mentor, wealth strategist and property investor, she only wears clothes in the colours of her brand – white, navy, cream, pink and grey – a scheme that also runs throughout the decor and furnishings of her five-bedroom Edwardian family home. A mother of two, she won’t entertain anything that’s not aligned to her personal goals, such as the invitation to join the school parent teacher association.
‘That would have been a total waste of my time,’ she says. ‘Too many women feel they have to say yes to things. You have to protect your time and be clear where your energy is best spent. ’ Jessica is married to Jordan, 39, a former professional rugby player-turned-coach, and they live in Bristol with children Harley, 11, and Hunter, ten.
Although you won’t find her doing sun salutations in the garden at dawn, she does rise at 6am and has a video meeting with her team at 7am, before getting the kids ready for school. Sleeping in rollers every night ensures she looks as though she’s had a salon blow-dry when she takes them out.
‘If you want to be successful and earn big money, you have to show up as that person,’ she says. ‘Before a football match, Hunter has a shower, does his hair and says to himself, “Look good, feel good, play good”, a mantra he’s learnt from Jordan and me.
’ She adds: ‘My worst nightmare is the parents I see at school who still live in the same street they grew up in, have the same three friends, go to the same pub every Friday night.
‘I’m not leaving my kids’ development to chance. I proactively shape their environments, habits and expectations to help them grow into capable, ambitious and self-sufficient individuals. ’ Every year, she asks her children to write down their goals for the next 12 months.
‘They have targets for saving money, what they want to achieve in sport – netball for Harley and football for Hunter – and how they’re going to step up as individuals,’ says Jessica. ‘Writing down our goals together ensures each of us understands what the others are working towards, creating a culture of accountability, support and shared ambition within the household.
‘Harley’s personal growth targets this year are about being more organised with homework and preparing her sports kit for the next day now she’s at senior school. Day to day, they have clearly defined responsibilities – Hunter for household recycling, Harley for folding the laundry and loading the dishwasher. These aren’t optional, they’re consistent expectations designed to build ownership and discipline. ’ When it comes to keeping all her plates spinning, Jessica delegates rather than drops them.
‘We have a cleaner and the kids each have a tutor to help with homework. I’m a businesswoman not a teacher, I don’t want to second-guess what they need or argue with them about it, so we hire someone who knows what they’re doing.
‘I’ve never felt burnout. When you’re really clear on your goals you feel excited rather than pushed and pulled, which is why I’ve just launched my brand in the US. There’s a more positive energy towards business in America, versus many of the British entrepreneurial groups where the vibe is pale, male and stale. I’m not here for that.
’ In true alpha-mum style, Jessica diarises a weekly family meal out and ‘experiential holidays’. Recent trips have included visiting the Versace mansion in Miami, Florida, and watching Paris Saint- Germain play football in the French capital. Jessica adds: ‘New experiences are vital to grow as individuals and as a family.
’ Part of what makes Amandaland so popular is surely Amanda’s fallibility – the moments when she tries and fails to meet the standards she has set for herself, something lawyer, entrepreneur and philanthropist Ana Vilhete, 39, can relate to. A self-confessed alpha mum, Ana confides that she has quietly allowed her self-styled crown to slip of late.
‘I can relate to Amanda, who’s also reshaping her life after divorce,’ says Ana Vilhete, who lives in London and owns a law firm in Canary Wharf She is going through a divorce and admits this change of circumstances has forced her to re-assess her once rigid approach to her career and three children Eleanor, 12, Ethan, seven, and her niece Isla, six, whom she has been raising as her own since Isla was nine months old. ‘I can relate to Amanda, who’s also reshaping her life after divorce,’ says Ana, who lives in London and owns a law firm in Canary Wharf, as well as an international recruitment consultancy.
‘I’ve dropped many of the spinning plates and my mum often steps in to help. I’ve made peace with having to rein in some of my alpha behaviours and I feel calmer as a result. ’ That said, Ana has hardly sunk to slatternly levels. She still insists that her children do three hours of guided reading every night, Bible studies on Saturdays and adhere to a strict no-screens rule from 6pm each night.
‘The jobs market is competitive and I want them to have an edge by the time they’re ready to go into the workforce, so their education is non-negotiable. They understand the importance of keeping a clean home so they all have chores. I won’t raise messy children.
’ Read More How Dylan was taken away from his mum aged 9 on the advice of one unregulated psychologist She has been equally hard on herself: ‘I only took four months’ maternity leave with Eleanor and a month with Ethan. I was a workaholic with a vision of my children being multilingual, academic and sporty.
‘My ex-husband is a teacher and, although he didn’t give up work, we switched roles as soon as I had Eleanor because I had the opportunity to earn a lot of money for our family’s financial stability. ‘While he went to playdates, birthday parties and parents’ evenings, I worked. Credit to him for that.
‘Since our separation last year, I’ve had to be more present for the kids, getting the hang of their social lives, extra-curricular activities and school cake sales. ’ Until a year ago, Ana would rise at 5.30am to gen up on the news and stock markets, while at weekends she would be a slave to her office once her children had done their morning sports activities. Not any more.
‘I was constantly strategising my life because my way of feeling happy was making progress. I took flying lessons, then learned golf, padel, jujitsu and was planning to learn German and start a PhD.
‘When they were very little, I wanted my son to be a lawyer, my niece to own an art gallery and my daughter to be an entrepreneur. Now, I just want them to be happy. ’ That said, there are still plenty of non-negotiables: ‘I have a spa break every six weeks, never miss a beauty appointment and constantly update my wardrobe, buying clothes once a week, always sticking to a palate of creams, white and blues.
‘Being presentable instantly makes me feel on my A-game and means I’m setting an example to my colleagues and my children. ’ She credits therapy with helping her ‘be more relaxed about life’.
‘But I won’t ever snuff out my alpha-female gene completely,’ she says. ‘Like Amanda, I’m allowing myself to be more vulnerable but I’ll always be aspirational and ambitious. ’ Find Camilla at fifty50coaching.co.uk or book a session with Jessica via she-eocollective.com.
Alpha Parenting Camilla Rogers Son Reuben Business Consultancy Nationwide Virgin Media Vision Boards Corporate Clients Maldives Red Ferrari House With A Pool Blue Aston Martin Time Management Real Estate Investing Exercise
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