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You’ll be thrilled all the way down to your toenails this week when electrodes are planted in the appropriate pleasure centers of your brain.After the events of next Sunday, for the rest of your life, people will stop you on the street and ask you to autograph packages of pork chops.Millions will be rescued this week when the Red Cross deploys thousands of desperately needed words to the site of an unspeakable tragedy.
Your new pheromone-based scent will make you irresistible to women, who will devour you, bones, hair, and all.Well, the stars tried, but somehow, you’ve been left more or less in control of your own destiny this week.For centuries, great thinkers have contemplated the purpose of life. It’s best to just relax and assume they’ve figured it out.If you’ve ever regretted not pursuing a career in bullfighting, this week may bring an accidental chance to start over.
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