Your Horoscopes — Week Of April 14, 2020

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Your Horoscopes — Week Of April 14, 2020
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Sometimes words are simply not enough to express how someone is feeling, wYour quest to become the World’s Greatest Lover will be derailed as you continue only meeting people who think you’d be a really great parent.Your old solution isn’t going to work on your new problem. Try drinking twice as much of it.You’ve often said you’d like a word with whoever is responsible for all the bullshit, leaving you conflicted when you’re promoted to manager of all the bullshit.

, you resent being referred to as “the kind of person who likes the newThe attention will be nice and all, but until Thursday you’ll have no idea there is a world record for Amount of Crap Put Up With In A Lifetime.Your inability to be spontaneous is well known, which will leave people struggling to put a name to what happens when you combust without warning next Wednesday.

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