We overestimate our effectiveness in making others feel better.
in how someone feels when you help them compared to how someone feels when you don’t. How does this work? Let’s imagine your spouse keeps coming home from work in a bad mood. You try and comfort them some nights and leave them to their misery on others.
The true test of whether you are a source of comfort is the difference in how your spouse feels on the nights you helped compared to when you didn’t.The study explored the effect of the base rate on people's judgments of how much they helped someone feel better. Participants in the study were told that they would be partnered with another person who was also online at a different location. Their partner would see lots of distressing images. After seeing each image, the partner would rate their feelings on a 1-10 scale from very sad to very happy. Participants saw their partner’sParticipants were told to provide advice to make their partner feel better before seeing the next image. However, they were only able to provide advice on half of the images. In this way, participants could see how the other person felt when they received advice but also, critically, when they did not receive any advice. At the end of the study, participants rated how much they thought their advice helped the other person feel better, as compared to doing nothing at all. But there was a twist. The other person did not exist at all—the emotion ratings came from an. Having responses programmed ahead of time meant the researchers could control whether the image-viewing partner felt A-OK to begin with or was feeling pretty distressed when they saw these images. But here’s the catch, the feedback was exactly the same when participants provided advice and when they didn’t provide any help at all. In other words, their advice had no effect at all on how their partner felt.
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