You’re a unicorn: Here’s why I don’t want to write about you

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You’re a unicorn: Here’s why I don’t want to write about you
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  • 📰 smh
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Your dreams, your dad, your sister’s drawings. They’re just not that interesting.

It started early last century when the novel broke away from its habit of focusing exclusively on gods, kings and heroes and became a more liberal art form, telling stories about everyday people. Then it was the movies, and TV dramas, and reality shows, and the rise of “the influencer”. All of these helped to exaggerate the importance of common folk and drift the zeitgeist into a well-lubed solipsism whereby every dull-eyed vape-sucker believes themself Zeus.

They come to me with dreams. “Last night I dreamt I was harpooning whales. How would you know about whaling in a dream... the techniques, the scent of blubber, unless you’d done it in real life? That’s a topic for a column right there - my dreams.” They come to me boasting extraordinary powers for special friends. “My wife never forgets a birthday, but can never remember bin night. You should write about that.

She’d found herself in a novel I’d written. Lots of people do. The woman in the book she’d recognised as herself was characterised by a penchant for lepidoptery and coastal infidelity, but my friend has no public record of either. So in recognising and nominating herself as that character I guess she unwittingly admitted to a couple of covert proclivities. Good luck to her. I wish my beach house was next to hers.

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smh /  🏆 6. in AU

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