I feel personally attacked.
, if you think about it, you’ll probably realize the bulk of their “I’m just being honest” statements are negative ones. “I don’t think it’s actual honesty, rather a way to communicate criticism and feel justified in it,” Franco says.
So the first step in recognizing that you might be a villain in your friend group is looking at your positive-to-negative feedback ratio. Then you should be intentional about striking the right balance. “The difference between honesty and cruelty, or bluntness, is, partially, taking accountability for what you’re sharing,” Franco says. It’s useful to give honest feedback, but appropriateness has to be a factor. And—in the spirit of honesty—you should recognize when your delivery is harmful.
It might sound like I’m being harsh , so let’s take a moment to celebrate folks who keep it real. In a world overrun with misinformation, we have to celebrate the unsung heroes who call out the truth and ask tough questions. But, and I say this with love, there’s immense value in realizing that honest opinions aren’t facts. “Your perspective isn’t objective, and your subjectivity is playing into the way that you might be interpreting a situation,” Franco explains.
The good news is that we can try to interrupt this knee-jerk reaction. “It just takes a pause,” Franco explains. to figure out whether or not your feedback is necessary and if you can frame it in a more compassionate way might help you remain honest without hurting the people around you. It’s worth a shot because, even if it makes for compelling TV, most of us don’t want to deal with relentless bluntness and brutal honesty IRL.
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