You pour so much every day into trying to manage your challenges that you start to believe it’s not possible to be happy unless you 'fix' your brain and 'fix' your ADHD symptoms. The thing is, you are much more than your ADHD.
Like many girls with ADHD, you grew up thinking you were either smart or dumb, happy or sad, nice or mean. Perhaps one day you felt strong and confident, but the next you became overwhelmed, even paralyzed by your ADHD symptoms and negative thoughts again. Perhaps you still do.. We all have periods of irrational thinking and moments of clarity. Sometimes we yell at a person we love and we feel bad, but we can be kind to a stranger.
You are much more than your ADHD. ADHD plays into who you are, certainly, because interacting frequently with your brain-based challenges can’t be completely avoided. There will always be the question, “Is it me, or is it my ADHD?” But those two pieces – you and your ADHD — are unique, but intertwined. They combine to form the whole person. Accepting that we can’t fully separate our brains and our bodies is a step in the right direction.
It’s okay to struggle with this idea and to have periods where you wish you your ADHD would just go away. But true healing emerges only through the process of reminding yourself that people don’t need fixing. Once you accept that it’s OK and normal to experience strengths and weaknesses simultaneously, you begin to approach managing your challenges with some self-compassion — and that is the key to doing the hard work of real changevery well.
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