After a conversation with someone, we usually continue thinking about them without realizing that they're thinking about us just as much. Here's why that matters.
We spend a significant portion of our lives in conversation with others. And after a discussion ends, we often continue to think about the person we spoke to—pondering their advice, re-litigating disagreements, or wondering what the encounter meant to them., however, suggests that we don’t often realize that our conversation partners are thinking about us just as much—an oversight that may have consequences for our relationships.
Across eight studies, subjects participated in or recalled conversations with strangers, friends, or intimate partners, reporting how much they thought about the person afterward and estimating how much they were thought about in return. Overall, participants systematically underestimated how frequently they were thought of by conversation partners. This “thought gap,” as it was dubbed by the researchers, increased significantly when the conversation was an ongoing or serious argument.
“When you have a ton of evidence of your own thoughts, and zero evidence of the other person’s, it’s hard to assume they’re thinking the same way you are,” explains study author Gus Cooney, a psychologist at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. Cooney’s past research also found evidence of a “liking gap,” in which people consistently underestimated how much conversation partners liked them.
In the current study, this overly pessimistic outlook appeared to have consequences: The less participants believed that their conversation partner was thinking about them after an argument, the less likely they were to believe reconciliation was on the horizon.. But on average, the people we talk to appear to think of us just as often as we think of them, Cooney notes—a fact that might be especially comforting after an argument.
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Wim Wenders to Direct Film About Toilets in Tokyo (Yes, Toilets)The project will star Japanese leading man Koji Yakusho and will be set in a public restroom that's part of a real-life urban renewal project.
Read more »
Yes, Tucker Carlson Shares Blame for the Buffalo Supermarket AttackTucker Carlson’s allies on the right wish to exculpate him of any blame for the violence committed by his adherents. jonathanchait writes that the white nationalist’s conservative allies are mounting an unconvincing defense
Read more »
Philly voters vote yes to expand zoning board and remove gendered language from city charterDaily News | Philly voters vote yes to expand zoning board and remove gendered language from city charter
Read more »
5 Tips To Help You Say ‘No’ (When You Want To Say ‘Yes’ But Know You Shouldn’t)Declining something can be difficult, but not if you have the right perspective.
Read more »
Miss Manners: To-go boxes at restaurants? Yes. At a friend’s place? No!DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve understood from reading your work that asking for to-go boxes at restaurants is apparently considered rude. ...
Read more »
Sky Recommissions ‘Never Mind The Buzzcocks’ On Four-Strong Entertainment Slate; Two Rivers Options ‘Chums’; Disney+ Hotstar Euro Trio; Tomorrow Studios Big Light – Global BriefsSky Recommissions ‘Never Mind The Buzzcocks’ On Four-Strong Entertainment Slate Sky has commissioned a second seasons of its Never Mind the Buzzcocks reboot on a four-strong entertainme…
Read more »