'When I received attention from older men, it was affirming. It's sad to realize my self-worth was connected to male approval.'
who've"dated" older men as teenagers and later realized they were predators to share their experiences. More than 300 women responded. Here are but some of their stories:"I was 14 and in a play at the local theatre. Our stage manager was 25, and I had the biggest crush on him. He was married but started paying a lot of attention to me. We started sneaking to the intermission bar and stealing wine coolers. Our last night of the show, he hugged and kissed me.
It's sad to realize my self-worth was so connected to male approval. I'm just now coming to terms with the fact that most of my relationships have been with abusers and basically pedophiles." —Anonymous, Washington"He was my assistant basketball coach. I met him when I was 15. It wasn’t until my senior year — I was 17, he was 23 — that we worked together consistently enough to develop a relationship. It started near the end of basketball season. I kept it a total secret.
This predatory dynamic defined much of my adolescent experience with sex and dating. It took me years to work through this, and I still carry lingering shame and guilt since I had been drinking at the time. It surely contributed to my distorted view of getting attention from older men. "Eventually, he stopped calling, and I was left with even more trauma and abandonment issues than when he found me." —Anonymous, Nevada“We had family friends whose youngest son was four years older than me. We hung out a lot, and our parents thought nothing of it. His mom called me the little sister he never had. By the time I was 14 , he'd kiss, grope, and do sexual things with me whenever we were alone.
"Growing up in an abusive family is like a one-way street to being taken advantage of as a teenager." —Anonymous, California"I got kicked out of school my senior year and was going through it. I coped by sleeping with much older dudes. Long story short, it stopped when I went on a date with a 31-year-old. I was 19. He planned something outside, but it was starting to rain, so we just went back to his place. He gave me two drinks.