“Kids with ADHD miss social cues that other kids learn by osmosis. Having ADHD is like trying to watch six TVs at once. While you’re deciding which one to pay attention to, some subtle information passes you by.”
, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Houston. “Having ADHD is like trying to watch six TV’s at once. While you’re deciding which one to pay attention to, some subtle information passes you by.”
For young children, a lack of social skills may not be a serious problem. If a six-year-old says or does something untoward, for example, other children may ask why but are unlikely to take offense. What’s more, young kids typically have a hands – on “social director” — a parent or caregiver who solicits not only play dates but also stays on hand to make sure they go smoothly.But as children get older, social interactions become more complicated, and children with ADHD fall behind.
“Some of the hardest work I do is with the parents of children with ADHD,” says Avie Lumpkin, an ADHD coach in Alameda, California. “They are good parents, and they have worked hard, but they may be trying all the traditional parenting things, which don’t work with these children.” Kids with ADHD often have little sense of how they’re perceived by their peers, and they commit social gaffes without realizing they’ve done so.
ADD medication alone may not be enough. One mom from Hartford, Wisconsin, found that temporarily adding the neuroleptic drug Risperdal on top of her son’s usual ADHD meds had a double payoff. “It calmed him down,” she says. “He went up to A’s and B’s in school, and it allowed him to make a friend.”Stephanie Bixler’s son, Matthew, age 9, struggled with friendships for years. “He pushed away every kid who tried to be his friend,” says Bixler, a resident of Lemoore, California.
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