A husband shares his frustration after his wife decides to stay a stay-at-home parent for their second child, despite a previous agreement. They are now facing marital difficulties and seeking counseling.
My wife and I are gay. We agreed to each carry a pregnancy to get the experience and always have a stay-at-home parent. My wife has a very flexible profession and can find a job anytime. I ended up taking a high-pressure career, that while it pays well, is soul sucking. Our son is turning four and will be starting preschool so I approached my wife about her looking for work and planning on our second child.
We have over six figures saved and this last quarter just left my mental and physical health battered and bruised. I figured it was time—only my wife to flip the script on me. She wanted to carry our second and continue to be the stay at home parent. She can’t “stand” the thought of being away from our son. I was livid. My wife knows how much I hate my career right now but feels that it is fine I suffer as long as she gets what she wants. She got defensive and says she has a right to change her mind. I told her it was utterly selfish and unfair to me. We made an agreement. We made plans. We made sacrifices. And suddenly all that doesn’t count because she changed her mind? We are sleeping in separate rooms and are a waiting list for counseling. Honestly, only the presence of our son is keeping me in the house right now. I am far closer to 40 than 30. I feel like my chance to carry a pregnancy is slipping away
COMMUNICATION FAMILY PLANNING MARRIAGE CHILDCARE DECISION MAKING
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