3 positive ways to get your kids to do what you want without resorting to threats, from clairejlerner
“If you don't put all these toys away, I am throwing them in the trash."
Another example:"Brandon, you've got two great choices: if you choose to cooperate with tooth-brushing, we will have time for an extra book before bedtime; if you choose not to cooperate, I will need to brush your teeth for you which means we won't have time for the bonus book. You decide." Versus: “Brandon, if you don’t brush your teeth, there won’t be any books tonight!”
Instead, skip the “no” and go straight to what the expectation is—what they can do. For example, if a child gets up from the table before mealtime is over, instead of saying, “No getting up from the table. Sit back down right now or there will be no more food,” you might say, “Oh, we’re still sitting at the table,” .
An important feature of this approach is that it requires a lot less language than we tend to use when we are frustrated and trying to get our children to cooperate. We launch into a lecture thinking we can convince our children to do the right thing, but this tends to have the opposite effect. When a limit is being set, it’sfor kids—they have to stop doing something they enjoy in order to comply with someone else’s agenda.
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