It's not going to be easy—but it IS possible.
have all made it easier for couples to think beyond a binary “stay together or break up” choice in the wake of an intimate betrayal.
Manhattan-based licensed clinical psychologist Joseph Cilona, Psy.D., tells SELF that, due to the sensitive nature of the topic, it’s hard to know for sure how many couples stay together after infidelity. “Despite the ambiguous statistics, it seems reasonable to speculate that more couples are staying together after infidelity than not,” he says.
“Some people want to know everything about the affair,” Derhally says. “They want to know where it happened, how many times. Some people don't want to know as much information. What's scary about affairs is there's a lot of unknowns. Then you kind of move the process of being able to vent your feelings to your partner and the process of your partner being able to receive that forgiveness.”“Betrayal is the most damaging part of an affair,” Klow says.
Handing over email and social media passwords can be another sign of trustworthiness. “Giving passwords, things like that, it's a gift that someone who's betrayed you gives that says, ‘You can have 100 percent trust in me and you can look through my things and you can do what you need to do,’” Derhally says. “There's many people I've worked with who are very willing to give their passwords and things like that to their spouse.
to not only take full responsibility for the betrayal, but to show patience and understanding that healing from their actions is a long process, Cilona says.. “The couple needs to let go of the parts of their [partnership] which were not working, and then move towards creating a new dynamic in the relationship,” Klow says. “Couples can emerge from an affair with a better sense of who they each are and what they want from their relationship.
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