Why isn't anyone talking about maternal suicide? WorldSuicidePreventionDay WSPD2019 WSPD SuicidePrevention
About five or six months after giving birth, Zeschky started having suicidal ideation, usually when she was lying awake in the middle of the night, breastfeeding Lara or letting her suck her finger. “I would plan an escape,” she recalls. “I’d think about just walking off and never coming back and not really caring what would happen to me.”
“I was punishing myself for not being good enough, not being the mom that I want to be,” she says. “I felt as though I was failing constantly as a mother:Despite the significant distress she experienced, Zeschky never sought help. When Lara was one, she started working at her midwife’s office and would give women pamphlets onand encourage them to seek help if they needed it, though she could never bring herself to take her own advice.
Indeed, this was one of Zeschky’s biggest fears. “I was so scared that if I told somebody what was going on in my head, they would take Lara away from me,” she says, adding that sometimes she felt like that would be a relief.
When a woman brings up thoughts of suicide with a PPPSS volunteer or employee, they follow a protocol to ensure she’s safe, which involves assessing the level of risk, ensuring someone else knows about her thoughts and, if necessary, calling her doctor or getting her to the hospital emergency departmentZeschky’s husband eventually found her on the path that day at Stanley Park, still safely pushing Lara around. Several more dark months followed until Lara turned two, and the couple.
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