Why Is It So Hard For Couples To Talk About Money — And Their Debt?

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Why Is It So Hard For Couples To Talk About Money — And Their Debt?
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Do You Have Trouble Talking About Money With Your Partner? You’re Not Alone.

. One institution, the Financial Therapy Association , wants to change how we talk about money.

Coambs’ path to becoming a therapist didn’t start out as expected — he used to be a firefighter in Texas. “I saw the guys complain about two things,” he said. “Their wives, and money.” In his own youth he remembered how his mom seemed most frustrated with his dad around money, and it inspired him to study personal finance. “I thought if I could just understand money, then everything would work out.

“[Attachment style] sets an internal map in your mind about whether you're lovable or not, whether people are safe and trustworthy, and what you do in response to that.” Coambs identified four categories: secure attachment, and three insecure attachment types — anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. All partnerships can be any combination of those. “Attachment style is a universal experience, everybody has a style.

The changes happening in Beth’s life were more personal, and she felt some responsibility toward her husband as a result when they wed right after college. “I knew before we got married that [my mother] was going to die, and probably not very far in the future. And I felt like I’d had a long time to think about this, and about my debt and how hard life can be — and he’d never had to experience anything like that.

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