OpEd: '[Grief is] something you live with every day for the rest of your life, but that doesn’t mean it has to define you or ruin your life.'
In this op-ed, Dina Gachman explains how dealing with grief during the holidays means leaning into all her feelings., a simple question like, “How are you,” can send you into a tailspin of conflicting emotions, especially during the holidays. It’s tough to admit that you’re not great or good or even mildly okay. No one wants to hear, “I’m miserable, thanks,” especially during a time of year when we’re expected to be deeply thankful and blissed out by pecan pies and holiday lights.
As soon as I made my anti-birthday pledge, my sisters warned me, “Mom would kick your ass if you stopped celebrating your birthday.” The thought did cross my mind that she died on the 25th, not the 26th, toprobably kick my ass if I let myself spiral into sadness, and stopped celebrating holidays or birthdays because she wasn’t there. Still, I felt guilty even contemplating anything as frivolous as a party or a piece of cake so soon after losing my mom.
“Leaning into the fullness of grief allows us to honor our whole selves: the sorrow, sadness, joy, peace,” says Robinson. “It allows us to be fully human.”
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