.NBCNewsBETTER: Rejection hurts because it creates an emotional wound. Here’s how not to let it leave a scar.
Psychologists suspect all of this hurt is likely a relic of our evolutionary past — and something that’s helped mankind survive for millennia.
Therefore the people who were more likely to be sensitive to rejection and more likely to take it as a signal to change their behavior before being shunned, would have been the ones who were more likely to survive and reproduce. It’s the likely explanation as to why we tend to feel more stung by rejection, even, than by failure, Winch adds.Why planning for failure can help you reach your goalsThe problem is that we tend to face more opportunities to be rejected than ever before in human history . And even though there’s still an interpersonal dynamic, most of the online and real-life rejections most of us face today don’t threaten our survival so much as they did thousands of years ago, Leary says.
We need to get better at distinguishing whose rejection matters to us versus the inconsequential kind, Leary says.Most of the rejections we face aren’t personal, Winch says. You didn’t get the job because someone else had previously known and worked with the team, not because you weren’t good enough. Your friend didn’t “like” your Instagram post because she didn’t see it — or didn’t have a free finger to click that button.4.
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