Why does my toddler suddenly hate everyone? —
That’s where a little strategic planning can go a long way: Put away special toys before the friend comes over, intervene in a constructive way if things get tense, and even let your child play in her room for a bit if she needs some space. The one rule: Be kind, which isn’t always easy for toddlers since they don’t have great impulse control. “I think there’s a case to be made for having to be kind to everybody,” says Rosensweet, “even if they’re not your best friend.
When it comes to adults, the reasons for your child’s sudden cold shoulder may be equally understandable. Maybe a particular adult’s over-the-top greeting is startling. Or your child takes a little while to warm up to people they don’t see regularly and feels overwhelmed. And then, of course, there are those people—usually relatives—who want to shower them with hugs and kisses and don’t respect theirIn all of those cases, it’s your job to tell the adults to back off—nicely, of course.
You can offer a compromise of sorts by seeing if your child will give the adult a high-five or simply a wave. Maybe it will happen, maybe it won’t, but if the person is offended, too bad; stay firm, even if you’re uncomfortable. Rosensweet’s advice: “Remind yourself: My loyalty is to my child, to respecting their autonomy and consent, and [to making sure] this person is treating them like a human being and not just a thing.
So toddlers aren’t as crazy as they seem. Remember: They’re always trying to tell us something. We just have to figure out what it is.
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