“It’s like visual ASMR, a metronome. In and out. If they quit, I don’t know what I would do.”
The Olsen twins lulling me to sleep. Photo: TheImageDirect.com A few weeks ago, I was so sick that I couldn’t even focus on a gentle film like It’s Complicated, becoming confounded by minor plot points involving college-graduation schedules. Desperately seeking some sort of solace and distraction from the prison of my own flesh, I turned to the next best thing after a Nancy Meyers movie: I opened my phone and Googled “Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen smoking.” Immediately, I was placated.
Photo: TheImageDirect.com Matt and Viviana, who describe themselves as “avid smokers who don’t smoke anymore because we don’t have the lungs of celebrities,” have long been fascinated by the smoking habits of the twins. “I remember one of the stories that was written about them after they moved to New York, almost a decade ago, was about the Met Gala and how they were in there smoking in the bathroom,” said Matt.
Photo: SplashNews.com Both agree that the whole thing is intensified by the fact that there are two of them, and that they are so small. “Everything’s better when it’s small. I once found a pair of really cute red tennis shoes, and I was like, ‘I wanna get these.’ And then they brought them in my size, I was like, ‘These are hideous.’” I asked if they were similarly calmed by other activities the Olsens partake in. “Arriving,” said Matt. “You never see them departing,” said Viviana thoughtfully.
Photo: TheImageDirect.com After I hung up with my free therapist, I hopped on a transpacific phone call with Courtney, owner and operator of @mka_smoking, who is also not a smoker, and identifies as a Mary-Kate. “I started the account a few years ago,” she said, “and I can’t really put it into words why. It’s like an ice-cold bucket of water dropped on my head. Whenever I’m having a stressful moment, I go look at those photos. It’s a rush.
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