“Like everything else on Instagram, even grieving had become aspirational—beautiful but empty. And I had come undone.”
The image of a mother’s hand, a little bracelet with a name spelled out in black and white beads in her palm, a woman posing in a magnificent rainbow skirt that spills over her surroundings like a waterfall, a book of Rupi Kaur poems cracked open with a fallen flower on one of the pages—all these posts of things I would never do myself made me wonder if I was doing it all wrong in general. Should I have saved those early ultrasound pictures? Or made special jewelry? Perhaps.
Most pregnancy-loss accounts have another glaring omission: the partners of people who were pregnant, and queer families. Pregnancy loss doesn’t happen in a vacuum, and partners often go undiagnosed with PTSD, depression, and anxiety after a pregnancy loss, but you wouldn’t know that by consulting Instagram. You wouldn’t know that queer families often sink their fortunes into expensive procedures like intrauterine insemination and in vitro fertilization that have no guarantee of taking.
I was immediately hostile to the idea, my impression of support groups contaminated by cinematic depictions of desperate people gathering to swap new-agey ideas to aid in self-improvement. But support groups have proven to be effective in several settings, largely because they do involve an exchange of ideas but also perceptual and cognitive resources like love and status—a sort of emotional mutual aid—that largely can’t be found in a static Instagram post.
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