Three situations in which it’s completely reasonable to breakup with someone over an email, a text, a Facebook message, and yes, even a Twitter DM. You’re welcome
Photo: 2/A.C./Corbis A male friend recently described a breakup where he had no real reason for dumping his girlfriend, just a vague feeling of dissatisfaction and the belief that he’d be happier on his own. Unfortunate, but not unheard of. Normal breakup stuff. Then he described the breakup, which consisted of him sobbing for two hours while seated next to this girl on a sofa.
Being good at dumping means being good at selecting the lesser of various evils. Breakups are moments of necessary selfishness, when you take away the thing someone else wants, because the thing they want is you, but you are an independent human who has her own desires. By necessity and evolutionary design, you must prioritize yourself.
And if the dumper and dumpee are in the kind of relationship where they cannot resist emotional extortion, unhealthy dependence, or that thing where the dumpee is like, “Please don’t break up with me,” and the dumper is weak and says, “Okay,” and then has start dumping all over again, and again, and again? Cut it off by any means necessary. When you’re that bad at dumping, you’re going to horrify your dumpee no matter what; accept that you’re the villain and just try not to be the worst villain.
The moment you dump someone, you lose the right to ask anything of them. The era of mutual reliance is over. You’re the one who wanted it this way. Thus, you must not rely on your dumpee for a shoulder to cry on, the bill for the final dinner, or a “sounding board” for the “next phase” of your life. And you certainly cannot expect a dumpee to explain why she is being dumped while you’re dumping her.
“But I need closure,” this kind of dumpee sometimes says. And while I respect this sentiment the same way I respect any survival instinct, seeking closure from the person who dumped you is impossible. Nobody ever gives you closure the way you want it. The relationship will be closed when both parties have moved on. If the dumpee needs the dumper to grant permission for her to be over him, then by definition, she is not and she won’t be until she does it on her own.
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