“My son does not take responsibility for his decisions; everything is someone else’s fault and he blames others... We’ve tried everything and nothing seems to be working.'
, the school is obligated to provide him with a meaningful educational benefit and to enlist providers through the IEP that can address his needs. The teachers shouldn’t be giving up on your son; they might not know what to do next to reach him, and that’s okay only if they also agree to an interim IEP meeting to review what is currently in place and consider changes.
At home, I would consider giving your son choices when appropriate and in keeping with your house rules, of course. He must do x, y, and z, but he can have a little bit of control by dictating the order in which he completes the tasks. His list must be completed by a clear, designated time. Don’t get into a heated verbal battle with your son if he doesn’t meet your demands. You can’t allow him to escalate the situation and feel that he has “won” or has too much power over the situation. Stay calm and let him know that he has chosen to not complete his home responsibilities — and because of that he has made the choice to not have a pre-determined privilege. He can earn that back tomorrow by meeting tomorrow’s expectations, as agreed upon.
Keep it simple and not so wordy. He knows that it’s fair and just for him to help in managing the household; you don’t have to oversell it. Don’t be afraid to hold him accountable. You will only have so long to do so before he is off and running.Do you have a question for ADDitude’s Dear Teen Parenting Coach? Submit your question or challenge here.
The opinions and suggestions presented above are intended for your general knowledge only and are not a substitute for professional medical advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your own or your child’s condition.
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