What Know About Attachment Styles, According to a Therapist
: Can you recall being comforted as a child after a time of emotional distress? If so, you’re likely secure, if not, there’s a chance you fall into one of the three following insecure styles.An anxious attachment style builds from inconsistent caregiving, explains Kuehnle, where guardians are present for a child at times and not at others. Those with anxious attachment “may be more likely to be codependent in relationships and feel responsibility for others’ feelings,” Kuehnle says.
that highly avoidant people typically have negative views of romantic partners and usually positive, but sometimes brittle, views of self., is a category that envelops the “Strange Situation” children who didn’t fall into the former three styles by exhibiting a mixture of anxious and avoidant tendencies. It was deduced that those behaviors stemmed from childhood abuse, neglect, or trauma.
“It’s important to note that we don’t just have one set attachment style forever,” she adds. “We may fall within a range of the various styles and our style can shift, meaning we may exhibit different styles based on who we’re in relationship with. And, the best news is, those with insecure attachment styles can rewire towards secure attachment, or what’s called earned security.”
Kuehnle recommends therapy for anyone looking to learn more about their attachment style and how it affects their relationships. “It’s truly best to have a trained, licensed professional administer an assessment,” she says. “Through this work, you can unlearn old beliefs or unhealthy patterns and work to develop more secure, healthy attachment.”
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