They might not totally understand, but you still need friends you can lean on.
Pregnancy and motherhood. It was a time that was supposed to be wondrous and life changing. My husband and I went through a lot to have our first baby: eight years, three miscarriages, and we tried everything except IVF. So when we miraculously found out I was pregnant, we decided not to tell anyone until at least 14 weeks. However, around seven-weeks pregnant I joined an online mom group on The Bump. I wanted to find a group of women with whom I could be friends.
I was extremely lucky that I had this group of amazing women to lean on when I became pregnant with my second and we found out at my 22 week anatomy scan that our baby had a rare and severe congenital heart defect: tricuspid atresia, hypoplastic right heart syndrome , and pulmonary atresia. I was stunned. No one expects to hear that their baby has a defect, or is anything but perfect with ten fingers, ten toes, and a cute little alien-looking face in the ultrasound.
"It's hard for anyone who doesn't have a medically complex child to understand how something like this affects you, your spouse, and any other children." During the interstage period of our son's life life felt extremely isolating. Motherhood is already hard enough during the newborn stage, but with a medically complex child it sometimes feels insurmountable. The few mom friends I had didn't understand why I couldn't go out, or why our son getting a cold meant a week long stay in the hospital.
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