'Ultimately, we don’t leave addicted partners because we no longer love them; we leave because we begin to prioritize love for ourselves.' One writer describes what it's like to actually like to break up with an addict.
If you’re in doubt of social media’s uncanny ability to bring out the worst in people, look no further than the reaction to the passing of rapper and producer Mac Miller. In the hours after the news broke, Ariana Grande’s Instagram posts were flooded with commentsIntellectually, I trust reasonable people know it wasn’t Ariana’s job to save her troubled former partner — but then again, I can’t blame those who do, even if they’re wrong.
By some miracle, my sobriety stuck. I was selected by The New York City Teaching Fellows, an alternative certification program that fast tracks mid-career professionals into full-time teaching positions in New York City public schools. Within 90 days, I’d established myself as a elementary school teacher. I’d worked hard to turn my life around, and was doing well. I expected Mark to be right there with me, a partner in the typical sense of the word.
I tried leaving him again months later. This time, I stuck to my guns. He took it better than expected: his face was calm as he continued to call the shots, just as he had for all the months that we were together. He’d leave, alright — when he was good and ready. In the meantime, he’d stop paying rent. It could take months for him to vacate, he threatened, maybe even years.He was right.
Eventually, I left. I found myself another apartment and he lived in my old apartment, rent free, for around six months. Then,I moved back in, hopes high.
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