Who are my “close friends” on Instagram? How many should I have? And what will I share with them that I don’t share with my other followers?
Photo: KARRASTOCK/Getty Images Shortly after we learn to count, we learn that there are friends, best friends, and second-best friends. I remember being pressured to name and rank mine, one by one, using my fingers as stand-ins for the people supposedly closest to me — the people my parents, or the alphabet, probably chose for me in the first place.
After AOL and Myspace came Facebook. Algorithms got sharper. Friends were “suggested.” To signify closeness, people “married” each other, or were in an “open relationship” , until an actual significant other entered the picture. Birthdays took on a new significance. And then college happened, and Facebook friendships became exactly that. Happy anniversary, stranger!
Now, here I am: Back where I started. Instead of having to decide what my friends say about me, I’m now forced to look inward at the difference — and if there even is one — between my public and private selves. Despite its definition, the word “close” implies some degree of distance. It’s deceivingly intimate. By comparison, when you call someone your “best friend,” it’s a binding contract. You’re hitched for life, even if you become “ex-best friends,” and never speak again. Online, relationships in general are more fickle. Someone can label you a “close friend” without your consent — again, maybe you’ve never even met — and they can take that label away just as easily.
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