When a relationship ends, the partner who's being left behind deserves to be told why, and hopefully, it's something more than 'It's not you, it's me.' Here's a better way to walk away.
Relationships of some duration and intimacy require more than, "It's not you, it's me."Source: fizkes/ShutterstockI once heard of one member of a living-together couple ending the relationship by packing her bags and leaving a Post-it note on the refrigerator.
Years ago, I went on an arranged blind date with a man who sounded like he and I would be a great fit. I loved the way he dressed and carried himself, and his field of work was one that I was interested in. However, he was from Chicago and sounded it. His flat Midwestern accent was like fingernails on a chalkboard to me, and I couldn’t even hear through it to what he said.
What could I tell him politely that would end a relationship that got no further than a first date? I told him the truth. We both laughed, and he shrugged, and that was that. If it salvaged his ego to dismiss me as peculiar, that was all right with me. In another instance I regret to this day, many years later, I told a man that I couldn’t imagine his touching me because he had such ugly hands. That was the truth, but why say so when nothing could be done about it? It was unnecessarily cruel, and I have learned better.Does it seem like I am advocating telling an untruth? I’m not.
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