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The 007 casting Hunger Games has officially begun, and we have thoughts.
We’re heading towards an apocalyptic event of “shaken, not stirred” puns in trade magazines and pop culture websites, as it’s just been announced that Amazon MGM officially started auditioning actors to, has been hired for the arduous task of adjudicating which of cinema’s most handsome men is the suavest, sexiest, and looks best in a form-fitting tux.
Everyone has a cross to bear in this life. Prayers for you, Nina. The even more important role in all of this, however, is mine: sitting on a couch barking my opinion of who should be cast, even though it doesn’t matter what I think at all. I take the role very seriously.
Given that over the last decade, Daniel Craig has grumpily threatened to quit his tenure as 007 only to repeatedly agree to one more movie and one more paycheck the size of a small country’s GDP, there have been several names bandied about over the years. There are the “sure, they’re very attractive and British” candidates like Aidan Turner, Callum Turner , and Aaron Taylor-Johnson, who are great actors but I don’t think have the intangible charisma that ole Jimmy B. needs.
Michael Fassbender has been asked about playing the part so many times that giving him the role at this point would seem more like a charitable apology for the nuisance than something earned. Jacob Elordi is mentioned as a possibility in the Variety article, which I think is rather insane. There should be more qualifications besides “extremely tall” for such an iconic character.connection, one would imagine, would give them a leg up.
Though Madden played what is essentially a version of Bond already, in the excellent seriesaired, many people salivated at the prospect of its star, Regé-Jean Page, taking over. That was also a time when inclusive, race-blind, and, forgive me for using this word, woke casting was somewhat of an industry mission statement. As with everyone these days, the pendulum has since swung back in the other direction with alarming fervor and speed.
It’s a sad state of affairs, but I can’t imagine a Black actor being cast as James Bond right now. My suggestion for the part would hardly surprise anyone who knows me or has read this newsletter over the past few years. But I do objectively think he would be the perfect Bond. It’s Jonathan Bailey, duh.
He is incredibly sexy and basically has a master’s degree in smoldering on camera. He’s played action heroes and romantic leads, and raked in box-office dollars and millions of streaming views doing both. He’s athletic, as proven in theBut I think what tips the scales is the charming, almost wily and mischievous streak that he has, a sense of humor and cheekiness that I think every great Bond has possessed.
It’s certainly meaningful to me, personally, that he would be a gay actor playing an international sex symbol and assassin, finally putting to rest the ridiculously perpetuated fallacy that gay performers aren’t believable in straight romances; he’s already done that to steamy success in. But even that as a milestone doesn’t matter. He’s the actor working right now who I just think is right for it.
I generally don’t understand why anyone would agree to be roasted, or even how the idea of “let’s make fun of you on the deepest, cruelest level” became an honor or celebration. Luckily, I am not a famous person, so I don’t have to worry about such things. But it is with that “why are we doing this? ” side-eye that I watch these ever-popular celebrity roasts.
Kevin Hart was the honoree/victim for the latest Netflix roast, and while I’ll say the event was a victory lap for free speech , it was a little dismaying that few sets amounted to much beyond “haha Kevin Hart is really short! ”Then Chelsea Handler took the microphone, reserving her best material for the manosphere comedians on the dais. She positively torched them.
It was so much fun to watch. You can readLook, am I proud of how feral I am over my beloved tennis star Carlos Alcaraz’s new cover shoot and? No, of course not. But what I am is a human, a human with eyes.
And those eyes are extremely happy right now. I have invested an amount of time that some might rule “unreasonable” into clicking and liking enough posts to make my social media feeds 70 percent thirsty Carlitos posts. In my defense, I will say that my obsession is rooted in being a tennis fan and thoroughly enjoying and appreciating Alcaraz’s rise in the sport.
He’s a human sports highlight reel in real time on the court, just astronomically talented. He has a very entertaining flair for showmanship, but he’s also just a really nice guy who seems to love what he’s doing and is grateful for his success. It’s a welcome departure from the typical athlete narcissism. And that it’s served with a side of photo shoots like this…well, that’s a bonus.
, it’s finishing up its first run of episodes and has been surprisingly enjoyable. shock you.
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