We Deserve a Lord of the Rings Show with a Massive Sex Scene

United States News News

We Deserve a Lord of the Rings Show with a Massive Sex Scene
United States Latest News,United States Headlines
  • 📰 TheCut
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 72 sec. here
  • 3 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 32%
  • Publisher: 51%

Apparently, Amazon’s forthcoming LordOfTheRings show is seeking actors who are “comfortable with nudity.” Nice

Imagine this but hornier. Photo: Moviestore/Shutterstock There is no singular balm that could assuage our collective dread, which has intensified at an alarming rate over the past year. But I can think of one small thing that could efficiently raise many of our spirits — for Amazon’s forthcoming Lord of the Rings TV series to feature a sex scene so needlessly raunchy that viewers are left stunned and disoriented.

While it’s too early to know for sure, early reporting suggests that meat may, in fact, be back on the menu. According to an in-depth investigation published on the Lord of the Rings fan site TheOneRing.Net, the New Zealand talent agency in charge of casting for the television series has put out an open call for actors who “must be comfortable with nudity.

And, while TheOneRing.Net may not be among your most trusted sources for news, the investigation was written by a man named Cliff Quickbeam Broadway, who happens to be an award-winning producer of the feature-length documentary Ringers: Lord of the Fans. I personally trust his intel without question.

Now, as Broadway suggests in his reporting — and as a quick scan of social media confirms — some fans are furious at even the suggestion that the TV series may be a little horny. Perhaps they fear that the potential sex scenes may be as gratuitous as the notoriously gratuitous ones in Game of Thrones, or maybe they simply find nudity to be totally unnecessary.

Beyond that, are we sure that an overwhelmingly erotic Middle Earth experience is such a bad thing? Just imagine an incredibly sweaty orgy between characters who were crucial to many of our sexual awakenings. Make the elves get a little freaky. Allow the hobbits their fun. Give a new meaning to the inscription on the West-door of the Mines of Moria: Speak, friend, and enter.

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

TheCut /  🏆 720. in US

United States Latest News, United States Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

Serena Williams on Sticking Up for Women (Including Herself)Serena Williams on Sticking Up for Women (Including Herself)“Someone in my position can show women and people of colour that we have a voice, because Lord knows I use mine,” said the tennis star in a new interview.
Read more »

Nicola Adams and Katya Jones confirm they are Strictly's first same-sex pairNicola Adams and Katya Jones confirm they are Strictly's first same-sex pairThough it has not yet been officially announced, the pair were spotted leaving filming together on Tuesday morning
Read more »

Farewell to 'GLOW,' a great show that deserved one final roundFarewell to 'GLOW,' a great show that deserved one final round.Netflix cancels GLOW despite fourth and final season renewal. Read our farewell tribute to The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling:
Read more »

Delicata Rings With Kefir-Ranch Dip Recipe on Food52Delicata Rings With Kefir-Ranch Dip Recipe on Food52These roasted delicata squash rings with kefir-ranch dip make an awesome side or vegetarian main. From Lindsay Maitland Hunt's cookbook, Help Yourself.
Read more »

The Good Lord Bird: Ethan Hawke's John Brown Is an Emmy-Worthy FireballThe Good Lord Bird: Ethan Hawke's John Brown Is an Emmy-Worthy Fireball.jacoboller reviews Showtime's TheGoodLordBird, where Ethan Hawke's John Brown is an Emmy-worthy fireball:
Read more »

Billie Eilish Revealed Why She Said 'Please Don't Be Me' Before Winning Album Of The Year At The GrammysBillie Eilish Revealed Why She Said 'Please Don't Be Me' Before Winning Album Of The Year At The Grammys'How can you feel like you deserve that kind of thing?'
Read more »



Render Time: 2025-02-15 09:16:18