.vulture staffers weighed in on their favorite Olympic events, and mostly chose the silly, scary, and strange ones. What events are you most excited about?
Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos by BEHROUZ MEHRI/AFP via Getty Images, Diego Souto/Quality Sport Images/Getty Images and An Lingjun/CHINASPORTS/VCG via Getty Images The 2020 2021 Olympics are officially underway in Tokyo and so far things have been, well, the best word we can come up with is weird. From having to debunk rumors that the sustainable cardboard beds were there to discourage sex to burnout from our top athletes, it’s almost like these games shouldn’t be happening at all.
Admittedly, this is a sport that looks a bit silly to the untrained eye, what with all the nose plugs and the splashing and the whole Sparkle Motion aesthetic. But it is hard. Executing the moves that these athletes have to execute requires enormous core strength and control of all sorts of muscles, and that’s if you’re outside of a pool. Add the weight of water and it’s that much more difficult.
Diving I will always stop what I’m doing to watch Olympic diving, but it’s tough to know whether that’s because I love it or because I live in terror that one of the athletes will hit their head on the diving platform and the whole thing will transform into a crime scene. It’s mesmerizing! It’s life or death! It’s an absolutely bananas sport, and also one of the few sports where even imagining myself attempting to do it turns my entire digestive tract into gelatin.
Men’s Gymnastics If Simone Biles got you hyped up for artistic gymnastics, share some of that energy with the men’s team. With Brody Malone, a 100 percent–muscle rising senior at Stanford and all-around U.S. champion, the men have a solid chance of earning a medal against Japanese, Chinese, and Russian competitors at the Olympics. While the women’s routines are controlled, graceful, and poised, most of the men’s events are about swinging your body around as hard and as fast as you can.
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